Insidious

TedFlicks Rating:

$2.50 ticket on a scale of $0 to $13.50

Barbara Hershey has Sunk This Low?

The best thing that can be said about “Insidious,” a 2010 horror film to be released in the USA on 1 April 2011, is that its title shares two syllables with Notorious,” Alfred Hitchcock’s 1946 vehicle for Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman.

This offense against cinema spends its first few reels as a mishmash of horror/thriller clichés — strange noises, doors that open and close without apparent reason, apparitions, a shrieking soundtrack (Aaron Sims), and terrified parents — that fails to excite any interest.  It also stands out as the picture in which Barbara Hershey finally jumps the shark.

What starts out as a haunted house movie — think Frank Lloyd Wright around 1915 — by Malaysian helmer (who also gets editor credit) James Wan ends up as a haunted person movie.  Unfortunately, its only redeeming features come in the form of a Frick and Frack geek ghostbuster team (Leigh Whannell — who penned the screenplay — and Angus Sampson) who lend pic its only intentional comic relief.  Their dialogue could have been written by Aaron Sorkin.  None of the rest of the cast save the kids, notably 10 year old Dalton played by Ty Simpkins displays any real acting chops, not even Hershey, who may as well have phoned it in.

Pic was shot on a minuscule budget reported to be $1 million.  It shows.  Most lighting appears to be natural.  It’s not very good.  Sound recording, however, is adequate.  If only the dialogue were as good!

Premise is complicated.  A couple, Josh and Renai (Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne) and their three kids move into a house that appears to be haunted.  Son Dalton lapses into a coma after a fall in the attic.  Docs can find no medical reason for it.  Eventually goblins make their appearances.  Renai demands that they “move house” (a phrase that gives away pic’s Australian connections, which are never a good sign in cinema).  They move.  The goblins join them at the new place.

Hershey, as Wilson’s mom, offers a solution:  She asks her old friend and medium Elise Reiner (Lin Shaye) to scope things out.  There lie pic’s revelations.  Little Dalton is an experienced traveler to the Astral Plane, which is inhabited by all kinds of spirits and the nether reaches of which are called “the Further.”  He does it in his sleep, thinking the journeys are just dreams.  Like many kids, he draws pictures of his dreams — pictures which are too conveniently displayed at too convenient a time — which eventually provide the roadmap to his recovery.  His spirit leaves his body, and he appears to be in a coma.  Unfortunately for him, the split leaves his body prey to demonic possession.

It turns out that Dalton inherited his Astral talent from dad Josh, who at age eight was doing the same thing and had acquired a demon in the form of an ugly old lady that lurked about him, visible only in photographs.  Evidently digital cameras are just as good as yesterday’s film cameras at spotting demons.

Josh’s mom (Hershey) reveals this to Josh, telling him that he must go into “the Further” to rescue his son.  This is accomplished via hypnosis.  Oh… but I skipped the séance.  Oh well… enough of the plot.

Josh rescues the kid.  A funny scene in the final reel between Frick and Frack could have been where Wan yelled, “Cut!”  Instead, he tacks on a cheater ending that screams sequel.  Don’t do it, Jim.  “Insidious” is so bad that it could be taught in film schools as an example of how not to make movies.  “Insidious” is an offense against cinema in which only diehard fans of horror will find anything to like.  A sequel would be a crime against humanity.  Pic is rated PG-13 mostly for a couple of four letter words which add nothing.  Sex is absent.  It runs 104 minutes.

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