“The Square”
Reviewed 1 April 2010 by Ted Faraone
One star out of five; $2 ticket on a scale of $0 to $12.50.
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AUSTRALIAN STYLE
When one hears the phrase, “The Square,” one may think of
If it were funny, “The Square” might have the appeal of “Blood Simple.” It certainly has the stylized violence. Unfortunately it has not one word of wit in the entire screenplay, which is played perfectly straight. The one intentionally funny line, uttered by Police Sergeant Gary Miles (Paul Caesar) falls flat.
Plot centers on the law of unintended consequences -- sort of a Seinfeld episode without the jokes. Three plotlines, introduced early through exposition, become intertwined thanks to an extramarital affair. Ray (David Roberts) a construction engineer on the take, has a steamy romance with hairdresser Carla (Clare van der Boom). A granddad, Ray leads a totally boring life wherein he pads his income with kickbacks from subcontractors. Carla can’t wait to ditch husband “Smithy” (Anthony Hayes), a slimy tow-truck operator who stashes a satchel full of cash in the marital attic thanks to scam never made entirely clear. Carla sees the cash as her ticket out with Ray. This presents plot implausibility #1: What’s stopping the pair from ditching their respective spouses and getting together? Helmer Nash Edgerton and scribes Joel Edgerton and Matthew Dabner don’t even offer an explanation, let alone a convincing one.
Here the law of unintended consequences intervenes. Carla talks Ray into hiring an arsonist to torch her house. The idea is that Smithy and his slimy “mates” will think that the cash was burned in the fire, when, in fact, Carla will have pinched it. Plot implausibility #2: Carla doesn’t pinch the cash before the fire, and the satchel survives the blaze. What doesn’t survive the blaze is Smithy’s mom. That can be attributed to the arsonist’s girlfriend, a mildly catatonic dope who fails to tell the arsonist that the fire is called off due to the presence of Smithy’s mom in the target house.
Around this time, Ray starts getting blackmail notes. He thinks it concerns the arson. He acts accordingly. Here’s where the “Blood Simple” style violence comes into play. A lowlife who is harassing Ray is impaled on a construction device. Ray digs a hole in the square (centerpiece of the grounds of a wedding resort under construction and soon to be filled with concrete) and buries both lowlife and lowlife’s motorbike in it. Then the weather screws everything up. The cement subcontractor (who paid Ray generously for the gig) refuses to pour concrete. Ray’s world gets smaller with each passing minute.
Carla, meanwhile, is working on pinching Smithy’s cash. Smithy’s instincts are better than his choice of friends. He’s on her tail. In pic’s sole brilliant scene, she pulls off a switch under his nose. It costs her a beating, but money is money.
At this point, the various lowlifes in Smithy’s crew turn on each other in scenes of vertiginous violence. Each one thinks that the other pinched the cash. Ray, smelling perfume on the blackmail notes, confronts the mildly catatonic girlfriend of the arsonist -- who admits at the end of the scene that she failed to call off the fire. However, she turns out not to be Ray’s blackmailer.
Meanwhile, Ray’s foreman is scouring his books. We do not know why, but we do know that Ray is on the take. We just don’t know if his company knows about it. Ray catches him in the act. A fight begins, culminating in an automobile chase wherein the foreman’s baby is the only survivor in his crashed car. The baby is a bit of “dues ex-machina.” There is no reason for anyone to suspect “baby on board.” Ray is hailed as a hero for saving the foreman’s baby, when in fact he caused its dad’s death. The death toll mounts. Your critic has already lost count. Plot implausibility #3: Why does a guy on a potentially dangerous fishing expedition put an infant in the back seat of his car? Plot implausibility #4: How does a slightly built guy (Ray) lift an overturned, smashed car, high enough to retrieve an infant and bring him to hospital?
In case no one has noticed, there is a bit of Isaac Bashevis Singer’s “The Dybbuk” (short story) in “The Square”, and in case we don’t know it, helmer Edgerton drives the point home with a bulldozer. There is also an element of Jean Renoir’s 1932 flick, “Boudu Saved From Drowning.” Every time Ray fears he is about to get nailed, he skates.
It turns out that the blackmailer is the cement subcontractor. His wife got greedy and ratted him out. Ray’s boss is in on it. Ray skates with warning not to cause his boss any trouble. His last move is to make his escape with Carla. He arrives at her house only to be held at gunpoint, execution style, by the arsonist who has come to demand the rest of the money Ray owes him.
Carla, in a sudden fit of absence of mind, gives him the entire satchel of cash. Plot implausibility #6: Why give him all the money when he only wants $2,500 and he does not know how much loot you have?
With the arsonist in possession of the cash about to execute Ray and Carla, who should show up with a gun but Carla’s husband. Oh, please! Can’t we be a tad more original? A firefight ensues. One guy ends up dead, the other wounded, and Carla… well, guess what happens in a fight between Ray and the wounded arsonist.
Pic’s ending is a tad ambiguous, which is unfortunate. After all this suffering, auds deserve a clear payoff.
Tech credits are adequate. Musical score leaves much to be desired. Constant repetition of the same leitmotif gets old in a hurry. And one final note to the Australian filmmakers: Subtitle your stuff for export markets.
“The Square” which was finished in 2008, has bumped around film festivals before finally getting a US limited release as of 09 April, 2010, is rated R for violence and language. Your critic would have rated it B for boredom.
--30--
